just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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