We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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