We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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