No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
