Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
And then he peed in my hair
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