My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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