no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
