U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
