So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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