For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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