i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
People in love make me want to vomit
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize