These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
