so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
