apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I supernannyed him into submission
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
