I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
