I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
