i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
