You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you traded sex for a burrito?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
