i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just cropdusted the office
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
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And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
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Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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