absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
