so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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