just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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