Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
