I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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