real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
