You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
