____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
