Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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