our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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