he shaved USA in his pubs
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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