i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
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