Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
