haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
