i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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