we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
