i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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