Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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