He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
