Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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