Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
