Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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