Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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