Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
