the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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