so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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