i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
