And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
