So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
