You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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