she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
