my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
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He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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