Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize