you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
