I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize