she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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